TINA

“Sometimes, members of family won't believe in your gifts, that's okay, just own your truth.”

35-year-old plus size model Netsai Tinaresse Dandajena, better known as "Tinar", says the people you trust, like family, will sometimes be the ones to let you down.

The Zimbabwean-born model says that growing up, she endured so much negativity towards her ambitions that she began to think her naysayers were right and that she was limited to specific careers.

Broken, with a low self-belief, in 2014 she turned to the Ms Curvaceous competition to work on her confidence and learn more about plus size modelling.

Tinar eventually made it as a runner-up in the 2015 leg of the competition, and today, she has worked with global brands. 

Known for her body positivity activism in the modelling industry, Tinar says she wasn't always as vocal and self-assured as she is today.

"When you are continuously told 'Oh, you're so ugly', 'you'll never be this, 'no one will ever want you to see on their TV screens’, and that's coming from like your family, that becomes your truth. Eventually, this dream you had for such a long time consequently goes out of the door," she says, as she explains what she faced in her childhood.

While she says that this hurt her, she was unable to address the situation with her family for many years, as there was an African cultural dynamic that shunned young children disrespectfully when challenging elders' sentiments.

"Being African, I was taught that 'When an adult says this, you listen.' But some other adults didn't say the nicest things, and some adults broke me as a child. And their truth became my truth. So when they're telling you, 'you're this’, an 'you're that' and 'you will never be this, and you'll never be like', that became my truth for a very long time."

The UK size 18 model says the turning point in her life came when she took active steps to heal herself and break away from believing her family's criticisms.

She also adds that the Ms Curvaceous confidence-building workshop she attended helped build her confidence and modelling skills. Once she started seeing what the Ms Curvaceous team saw in her, she began to change.

"Over time, as I got into modelling and was in the industry, I met people from Ms Curvaceous, to all the companies I have done work for, and I realised that these are people who believe in you and want to see you win. Seeing and thinking helped me heal and remember that, you know, 'I am beautiful. And I am hardworking, capable, and I can do anything that I set my mind on’."

While the realisation was enlightening, the model found she struggled with some aspects of modelling. Tinar says she had to work on her technical skills:

"When I did the casting, an audition for Ms Curvaceous, I literally could not walk. It was to the point that the judges started laughing at me. I was that bad. But I think they liked me. I also think they felt sorry for me as well."

She adds she put everything into the rehearsals and the modelling training in the weeks leading up to the modelling competition final.

"We went to rehearsals every Sunday. I can't remember, but once a week until we did the actual competition."

It would all end up paying off for her, as she later emerged as the 2015 Ms Curvaceous runner-up winner, which is an opportunity that opened doors for her.

Today, Tinar has over five years of modelling under her belt and an impressive catalogue of brands she has worked with. Despite this, Tinar says she will not let the fame get to her and hopes instead of using the platforms she has access to, to reach more women in situations like the one she found herself in.

“I don't want anyone to ever look at me and feel like I'm above them or untouchable. I want them to feel like they can be like me, reach me, and come to me like I have so many sisters that I've never met, but they would contact me on Instagram and talk about their problems. I want everyone who's ever met me to be like, ‘When I met Tinar, she was like a true sister to me. She was so kind'. So as a model, I see (modelling) as a platform that allows me to be more connected to more people and share that magic and joy with everyone I meet. I want to be remembered for being kind and like ‘she was a cool girl’”. 

As she concludes, Tinar says that while she wishes to have healed sooner from her childhood traumas, she also today understands the unspoken value of dreaming and the alchemy that follows choosing a path linked to that dream, regardless of what opinions others may have about it.

“All of us have a dream for our lives deep-down inside us that cannot be manipulated or polluted by anyone. That thing is something that all of us have in ourselves. So don't let other people's words take that away from you. Don't let other people's words become your truth. They don't know your truth, but you do, so be confident in your truth. Tell yourself that no matter how dark it gets, no matter how difficult it gets, you will persevere because you know that you're going to get there one day.”